Always have a toothpick handy!

Great actors and entertainers understand these ratios intuitively. I know that I can say the same words as Al Pacino but I can’t put the same tonality and physiology into those words that he can. That is why he is Al Pacino and I am writing this blog!

Physiology is so revealing that we have a hard time hiding our real emotions. A perceptive person well trained in body linguistics can easily discern what someone is feeling or thinking simply by observing them for a moment or two. However, you don’t have to be an expert to do the same thing.

For years salespeople have been taught to look for buying signals or “tells” of their customer. There are certain body language behaviors or signals that we all send unconsciously that betray us. If you are a man, the number one buying signal that we all share is to rest our chin between our thumb and forefinger like the statue, “The Thinker.” When a man does that it means he really likes what he is hearing or seeing. Salespeople are taught to look for this signal and go for the close when they see it. About 35 years ago, I was in a sales training class in San Diego and to prove this point our class took lunch one day at one of the new, topless, exotic dance clubs that were starting to spring up in the early 70’s. It was amazing! 95% of the men in the club were watching the stage with their chin resting in their hand! Guess they liked what they were seeing, huh! Of course, this was quite a while ago and those types of clubs were still a novelty.

Since Physiology is so strong and so revealing it can also get us in trouble. Picture this; a guy and his girlfriend are out at their favorite restaurant and the guy is making all his campaign promises to try to get her to marry him. His words are wonderful! Things like, “Baby, I love you so much,” and “When I am with you, nothing else matters,” and “Just say yes and make me the happiest and luckiest man in the world!”

Well, if words were all that counted our hero would have it made. Unfortunately, however, he was saying those words while looking at his watch and also checking out the waitresses butt as she walked by. His physiology was sending a much more powerful message to his soon to be ex-girlfriend. Anything similar ever happen to you? We would love to hear about it!

I guess the most important message from this is that if we really want to be great communicators and wonderful salespeople then we have to be CONGRUENT. What I mean by that is that our words, tonality and physiology all have to be sending the same message. My words can be fine but if I am sending a contradictory message with my tonality or body language my words will have no effect and communication fails. I can’t very well say to someone how excited I am if I am all hunched over with a frown on my face. Stand on any street corner and watch the body language of those that walk by. We can pretty well judge the mental state of those we see just by how they carry themselves. It’s hard to describe but we know it when we see it. Must be part of that deep core in our brain that is instinctive… like the lion can tell weakness or strength in their prey by their body posture and how they move.

Winston Churchill once said to a man in the House of Parliament, “Who you are Sir, speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you are saying!” Just another example of physiology in action.

Make it a great day, Rick