Always have a toothpick handy!

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into
complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups -porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive,some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said:‘If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up,leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you towant only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups… And then you began eyeing each other’s cups. Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee that has been provided us.’Life brews the coffee, not the cups … Enjoy your coffee!‘

The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.’ 

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to whatever greater power you believe there is.. Have a blessed day and enjoy your coffee! 

  Remember that great Simon and Garfunkel song from the 60’s?   One of the verses went:

People talking without speaking, 

People hearing without listening. 

How true, how true!!  Truly good listeners are very rare.  We all love it when we come across one because they make us feel so good.  They seem to hang on every word we speak and can actually feed back what we say to us thus confirming how important they feel we are.  We recognize them easily.   Good listeners make us feel important and we trust them.   To stand out today, you don’t need to be a great listener –just be a good listener because everyone else is so terrible at it.   Unfortunately, for most of us, listening is tough.  We seem to have so many distractions that get in the way.  We have all experienced situations in which we have been  speaking with someone and all of a sudden we realize that although we have been hearing the sound waves excaping the speaker’s mouth, we have no idea what they have been saying.  We have been caught with our minds wandering and have been justly embarassed by our inattention.   

It’s sad that nobody taught  us how to be good listeners when we were younger.   Why do some people seem to do it naturally?  Do they know something the rest of us don’t know? 

 Read on and discover the secret to being a good listener. 

I had the pleasure about 20 years ago of attending a seminar in Las Vegas.  The speaker talked on many subjects but the most interesting to me was a short session on something called  Neuro-Linquistics.  He showed that as powerful as our remarkable brain is, it can only process new information one bit at a time in serial fashion.  In other words, our brain, the most powerful computing instrument known to man can only process one bit of information, one after another, in single file.  It can’t process two bits of information at the same time or in parallel fashion.  Now, of course our wonderful brain can process new information very, very quickly but still; only one bit at a time.  To prove that, for example, we can’t think of brown cow and white horse at the same time.  You can think of the cow and an instant later think of the horse but not both at the same time. 

So what does that little known fact have to do with our listening skills with others? 

We all have this little voice inside of us.  It’s constantly carrying on a dialogue with us.  Call it what you want but our little voice never shuts up.  It’s talking to you right now as you read this article.  It’s saying things like, “I wish this guy would get to the point, or, I’m really spending too much time on line or, this is the best blog I have ever been to.”  Whatever it says, its no big deal when you are reading.  If your inner voice distracts you, you can just go back and reread what you missed.  No harm, no foul!

  However, it’s not that easy when you have another human being across from you.  Now if your inner voice distracts you, you’re in trouble!  All you can do is pretend you were listening and hope you get lucky.  Or, you can just apologize and say something inane like, “I’m sorry, I just checked out there for a bit and didn’t hear what you said.”   The problem is that brain of ours can only process information in serial fashion.  Since there are two voices playing, we have to choose which one to listen to….our inner voice or that of the person we are speaking to.  We can’t listen to both at the same time!  The problem is that we tend to listen to our internal voice above all others because it is US.  It is who we are and our egos won’t let our inner voice be shut out by others.  This fact sure makes it tough to be a good listener.   The solution, however, is easy!  The key is to shut down our internal voice which frees us up to totally focus on what the other person is saying. 

The technique is simple.  All you have to do is repeat silently and verbatim to yourself exactly what the other person is saying as they are saying it.   By doing that, we totally shut down our internal voice and focus 100% on what the other person is saying.  Try it.   It works like magic.   Go grab someone and start a conversation.  You will remember exactly what they are saying because you are 100% laser focused.  We all, at times, let our inner voice begin to interrupt when we are speaking with others.  It doesn’t have to be a sales situation either.  We can be talking to our wives or husbands or kids or anybody in any situation.  We are the victims of our inner voice.  So, the next time you find your mind wandering and you recognize that you aren’t paying total attention like you should…you can get back on track immediately by shutting down your inner voice using this technique.  

Please let me know if this technique worked for you.  Thanks for sharing some of your valuable time with me.  Rick

You have seen thousands of books, CD’s, seminars and websites all promising the “Secret” to success in sales as if the answer was hidden in a vault in the center of the earth and the only way to find the path to true success in sales was by buying their product. To be sure, many of these self-help genres contain useful and, in some cases, even life altering information. However, in my opinion, when all is said and done, the best article ever written on the true essence of sales was an unobtrusive story that appeared in Reader’s Digest over 35 years ago. The story wasn’t even about sales…at least not in the conventional way you think of sales. It did, however, cut to the very core of what real sales is all about. If you could condense all the sales tips in every book ever written and all the techniques from every seminar ever attended you would end up with the simple message that this story so eloquently tells. Perhaps you want to be a true professional in sales. If so, then read on and be amazed at the essence of simplicity in this short story.

The story takes place during World War II around 1943. Uncle Sam, in an effort to raise more money for the war effort, started a war-bond program for the men in uniform. The plan was that all the soldiers, marines, airmen and sailors could buy war bonds. The upside for the servicemen was that if they bought the war-bonds and were killed in action then the government would have to pay a $10,000 death benefit to the servicemen’s heirs back home. Of course $10,000 was a lot of money in the early 40’s. The downside was that the war-bonds would cost the servicemen around $3.00 per month which was also a hefty chunk of what the military men of the day made each month. The bottom line was that the cost was too much and the servicemen weren’t buying the war-bonds because they were just too expensive.

The story tells of a young 2nd Lieutenant fresh out of West Point, standing on a stump, in front of his platoon in France. He was trying to “Sell” them on the many reasons they should buy the war-bonds. He talked passionately about why they should get involved, saying things like, “It’s the patriotic thing to do, it will help the war effort” and “The government needs the money.” All to no avail. The men just stood there with blank faces and their arms folded. They were thinking, “It’s just too expensive.” I don’t care how many reasons you give me.”

A crusty old Sergeant standing off to the side said. “Sir, let me try” He got up on the stump and said in a loud voice, “Men, I have a statement to make and a question to ask. The statement is this: “If you buy these war-bonds and are killed in action then Uncle Sam will have to write a check for $10,000 to your loved ones back home, Right?” The men all answered, “Right”. “Now, on the other hand, if you don’t buy the war-bonds and are killed in action, then Uncle Sam doesn’t have to spend a dime, Right?” Again, the men responded, “Right”

“So, the question I have to ask is this: “Who do you think they are going to send to the front-lines first to be killed? Those that are going to cost them $10 grand or those they get by with for free!?” Needless to say, everyone bought the war-bonds!

You chuckle at the simple logic but you have to stand in awe of the message. Rather than talk about features of the program, the Sergeant cut to the very basic premise of sales. Sell your product based on what is important to your customer and not what is important to you.

The message is clear.  Be like that Sergeant.  Find out  the  important needs of your customer and position your product or service to solve those needs.